RANDOM NOODLE INSANITY
by NEKOKAWAIIPEACE
Summary: An insane Warriors fanfic. With Hawkfrost. And noodles. You've been warned. NO LONGER ON HIATUS YAY
1. The insanity begins

**Last year (can't believe it's been that long) I wrote another parody called Catmint Frenzy! Well, I'm in the parody mood! See, I have these moods. One second I want to tragedy the next humor and the next INSANITY. Yeah. **

**An invisible friend is helping me write this...*whispers* He doesn't really exist!**

**Grassblaze: 'ELLO MATES**

**...**

Hawkfrost was sleeping in the Dar-

WOAHWOAHWAITASECOND

Hawkfrost was walking through Riverclan, yawning. He saw some green leaves and ate them. Yes. He ate them. What idiot wouldn't?

Anyways, he ate the leaves. That was when the insanity began.

* * *

Future chapters will be longer!


	2. Elder Power!

**Grassclaw: And we updated.**

**Yes. Yes we did.**

**Grassclaw: NOODLES**

**FRIDGE EGGS**

**Grassclaw: ...**

Hawkfrost ran back to the Riverclan camp laughing and screaming like he was the only deranged mass murderer lunatic. When he arrived, he stopped and his jaw dropped to the ground. Almost literally.

Mousefur was sitting on a boulder and calling out names. What Hawkfrost couldn't believe was that all of the clans were in the RiverClan camp!

"EVEN STARCLAN AND THE DARK FOREST?" Hawkfrost screeched. He stomped over to Mousefur and cleared his throat. "Ahem."

"Yeeeees?" Answered the old geezer-uh, Mousefur.

"What exactly ar-" He began.

"-Am I doing?" Mousefur interrupted. "Lining up the clan cats from youngest to oldest. I can to who is what because I am an elder!" She beamed. "I'm doing ThunderClan and RiverClan right now!"

Hawkfrost decided that the elder knew best. He was wrong...

"Youngest is..." She began reciting names from 'youngest' to 'oldest'. "Ripplepaw, Beechpaw, Willowpaw, Reedwhisker, Swallowtail, and Hawkfrost."

He realized that Mousefur had called him old.

"YOU WILL PAY!" He screeched. Hawkfrost leapt at the elder. He tackled her and tried to claw her face. He wasn't able to because Mousefur had...

THE POWER OF AN ELDER! She defeated him by throwingnhim off her and clawing HIS face!

Hawkfrost sobbed. "I never lose! Whyyyyyy?!"


	3. NO NO NO NO!

**I have decided that my A/N's will have the following:**

**Announcements: If you like, you can give me OC's, but I won't guarantee that I'll use them.**

**Replies to reviews: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Dedication(s)/disclaimer: Lots of random! Beware! Dedicated to my friend Lexi.**

**Grassclaw: On with the story!**

**On with the story!**

**Grassblaze: :o I JUST REALIZED WHAT YOU DID! YOU TRICKSTER!**

**Did what? **

**Grassfoot: YOU KEEP CHANGING MY NAME!**

**No I'm not!**

Hawkfrost ate a hamburge- NO NO!

Hawkfrost was sobbing since he had been beaten by Mousefu-NO NO NO!

Hawkfrost did- NONONONONO!

* * *

A clan moved in next to Thunderclan. Don't ask me how! They just did!

* * *

Firestar decided to start a cooking show.

* * *

Hawkfrost suddenly had a nickname. Hawkiepoo! Hawkiepo-NO NO NO!

Hawkfrost saw a twoleg and got ready to poun-NO NO!

Hawkiepoo was being chased by a mob of fangi-NOOOOO NOOO!

* * *

The new clan was called SnowClan! It had a bunch of cats. Snowflakestar was the leader. He-WAITWHAAAAAAT?!

* * *

Firestar's cooking show was called 'Cooking with Firestar'. Cliche.

* * *

Hawkiepoo wondered if he should visit his mother, Sash-NO NO NO NO NO!

Hawkfrost wished he had a less ridiculous nickna-NUU!

Hawkiepoo did visit Sas-NU NU!

* * *

The deputy of SnowClan was eating a mouse. He was the only sane one in the Clan.

* * *

'Cooking with Firestar' was going to air on Chapter Four, probably. He got the food and stuff ready so that he could cook. It was gonna be fun! Riiiiight?

* * *

Hawkfrost took out his pho-NO NO NO!

* * *

Segment One aired first.

*Theme music plays [imagine the Pie Song is playing]*

Hawkfrost was taking a stroll on the beach. He was enjoying himself and loved the warm sun on his fur. He felt the cool, damp sand beneath his toes. Suddenly, a voice began to shout, "NO! NO! NO!" Hawkfrost sighed.

The scene changed. Hawkfrost was now in the cold mountains. He shivered and realized that he was very thirsty. He trekked for hours, trying to find water and figure out why the author was torturing him. He laughed with joy when he spotted a stream. But before he could reach it..."NO! NO! NO!" Hawkfrost groaned.

Hawkfrost was fighting a large tabby tom. He screeched and growled, tearing fur off of his attacker. He pinned his opponent to the ground and laughed maniacally. He leaned down to deliver the killing bite. Suddenly, "NOOOO!" Hawkfrost screamed the same thing.

*Ending music plays [Imagine the Duck Song]*


	4. Stop yer damn screaming!

**Last time...on random noodles...MY FRIEND'S NAME WAS CHANGED!**

**Noodles: WHAT?! THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED! MY NAME IS GRASS-**

**YOU'RE NAME IS NOODLES, SILLY. **

**Noodles: *Sobs in a corner***

The tv shows were then canceled because THIS IS RANDOM NOODLE INSANITY, PEOPLE.

Hawkfrost came running in. "TODAY WE ARE ABUSING THE CAPS!"

HE SCREAMED! MISTYSTAR ALSO RAN IN. "YEAH!"

JAYFEATHER RAN IN TOO!

"STOP SCREAMING!" He screamed.

Noodles had had enough. "My eardrums have popped!" He sobbed. "Have mercy and please shut up!"

Kitty watched all of this in amusement. Since this was not a serious fic, she would have no trouble killing a character. So she killed Noodles. He was hit by a stray monster.

"WHAT THE DARK FOREST WAS THAT FOR?!"


	5. Spellneck

**Because in the previous chapter spellcheck hated me...**

**WE ARE WRITING STUFF ABOUT SPELLCHECK!**

Hawkiepoo was on his phone, texting. He had decided to use spellcheck (AKA autocorrect) just in case.

HawkfrostDaAwesome: Hello everyone

SashaDaMama: Hey, HAWKIEPOO

HawkfrostDaAwesome: MOM! NO! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MADE EVERYONE CALL ME HAWKIPOO!

SashaDaMama: x3

Hawkipoo: Dylan! You chord my name against!

SashaDaMama: ...

Hawkiepoo: AUGUST! IT'S THAT DYLAN AUTOFART ANGST!

SashaDaMama: Teehee what did u say, Hawkiepoo?

Hawkipoo: STAPLE IT! YOU NOW ITS AUTOCORNER!

SashaDaMama: ROFL! Wait until I show your brother and father! And sisters!

Hawkiepoo: MOOOOOOOO!

Hawkfrost threw his phone into the lake and tried to destroy it. That didn't stop Sasha from telling everyone.

DUN DUN DUN


	6. How to kill a phone

**Yaaaaaaay I love reviews! And making people laugh!**

**You know what really miffs me? When people make TubeYou videos called "World's funniest try not to laugh" or "The best try not to laugh". Those try not to laugh things are instantly not funny. -.- **

**But, you see, I'm a hypocrite.**

**THE WORLD'S HARDEST TRY NOT TO LAUGH!**

**Noodles: Wai-**

**HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!**

Hawkiepoo had just listened to the song 'How to Save a Life'. He figured if The Fray could save a life AND make a song, then he could do it too!

Except he would be destroying a life. His phone's life.

"Ahem," Hawkiepoo cleared his throat.

"Step one, you break the dang thing!"

Hawkiepoo sang while smashing the poor PhoneEye with a stone.

"Then you call it bad names,"

He didn't care that names and thing didn't exactly rhyme. He began to spit and hiss at his phone.

"FOX DUNG!"

"BADGER BREATH!"

"When tries to raise the ringtone volume," He grunted.

"SMASH IT WITH A MUSHROOM!" He yowled, smacking his PhoneEye with a few Baby Bella mushrooms.

"And that's how you kill a phooooooone."

He then finished his "song".

_BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ_

"**GREAT STARCLAN!**" He screeched.

He sighed and decided to face the interweb texting net.

SashaDaMama: Hey Hawkiepoo! I posted your little "song" on the interwebs!

Hawkiepoo: ...

Hawkiepoo: YOU WHAT?!

SashaDaMama: :)

Hawkiepoo: WHY ARE YOU MY MARMEE?!

SashaDaMama: HAHAHA YOUR AUTOCORRECT IS HILARIOUS!

Hawkiepoo: By goner...frozen cakes! I bleat Troy frog!

SashaDaMama: ...

Hawkiepoo: WHAT THE FRENCH FRIES AUTOMATIC?! I sand..."My what...StarClan! I hate autonose!"

SashaDaMama: Autonose?

Hawkiepoo: Autofroze!

Hawkiepoo: AUTOMAIL!

Hawkiepoo: REPAIREMAIL!

Hawkiepoo: THAT IS LIT! I FRIDGE UP!


	7. HAPPY CHAPPIE

**Time for...RANDOM NOODLE INSANITY: HOLIDAY EDITION**

The author decided that since everyone was so 'merry' during the holidays, she would make a very happy and fun and exciting chapter!

* * *

_Hawkfrost and the rest of the Clans had died of a mysterious plague. _

_The end. _


	8. THE END (not)

**Oh, it's too bad I don't have any flames…you know…ahem*coughcouugheofih;rgnsdklf***

Hawkfrost was sad. He wasn't liked by anyone. So he decided to be evil. He was sure everyone would like! Because he would _force _them to! He went and killed and bunch of kitties with his daddy, and they had fun. They even showed of their amazing skills by murdering tons of prey and stacking the trophies on a pile. It was great fun.

Until Firestar came and KNOCKED THE PILE OVER. Everyone was sad so Hawkfrost and his daddy asked a kit for help. His daddy was killed by the kit nine times and Hawkfrost was sad.

Then he tried to kill Firestar because HE KNOCKED THE PILE OVER. But the fox trap was faulty and he died instead.

THE END

...

Hawkfrost looked up from his iPaw and frowned a nonexistent frown. "What? That's not-"

THE END

"Don't interrupt me-"

**THE**

**END**


	9. Stargleam?

The noodles were falling down, hitting the ground hard. They were fresh and warm, and the Clans were sheltered in their camps. They shivered in fear, hoping that they could avoid the wrath of noodles. If anyone touched them…they would probably die.

Hawkfrost came dancing in the rain of noodles and everyone gasped. "HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!" They all cried in unison, sticking their heads out of their dens. Then noodles fell on them and they died.

**Not.**

Hawkfrost was sitting at a desk, looking as official as possible. "The line is now open!" The line for what, you might ask? Well, even if you didn't, I'll tell you. It was a line for him to choose his mate. Any she-cat who felt worthy enough of being his mate stepped in the line.

"Hello, Hawkiepoo." There was only one she-cat in the line (cause everyone else hated him at the time). Hawkfrost's eyes widened and he backed away.

"Oh no! No nonononon-"

"What's wrong, Hawkiepoo?" She asked sweetly. It was none other than…

"WHY ARE YOU HERE, STARGLEAM?" He screamed.

"It's Gleamstar now." The shining she-cat corrected him. She grabbed his paw before he could run away. "And you're not going anywhere."

"STARCLAN HELP MEEEEEEE!"

**To be continued. ):D**


	10. Lakepaool!

Hawkfrost sat grumpily in Gleamstar's castle, staring at the fish in his plate. Across the long pink table sat a smiling Gleamstar, her perfect rainbow eyes shining in the romantic lighting of her castle that she set up, and her fur as wonderfully beautiful and while and shiny as always (or whatever color it was). "I'm so glad I could be your mate!" She purred.

"Not that I had any choice…" He grumbled.

Suddenly, her eyes turned red, and her tail grew spiky. "**WHAT DID YOU SAY?!**"

"I-I mean, I'm glad too!" Hawkfrost shrank back. He began to quickly it his fish. "This is delicious!" He squeaked fearfully.

"Thank you!" Then Gleamstar was back, _purrfect _as ever. She stood. "I'm finished eating. Now we should-"

"NO! PLEASE NO!" He screamed.

"…have dessert, I was going to say." Gleamstar narrowed her rainbow eyes suspiciously.

"Uhhh…." Hawkfrost swallowed. "No! I can't wait! We should do it now now, not now, but nown ow nownownwon-"

Gleamstar clapped her paws and dessert appeared in front of them. "Oh, I do so love chocolate." She purred. Then she ate it and died.

"I'm free!" Hawkfrost cried gleefully and ran out of the pink castle. Then he crashed into another she-cat.

"Yes! Now that I've poisoned my friend/sister, you are all mine! AHAHAAHAHA!"

"…Who are you?" Hawkfrost asked.

"Lakepaool!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

**To be continued some more.**


End file.
